the worst diet.

how do you go from this…

to

this.

in a matter of days?

well, a trip to NY to eat the best foods is one way. that’s basically all i’ve been doing this past week. making one poor dietary decision after another.

now, i’m a slow decision maker. honestly, it takes me a good 3 days to figure out what kind of shoes i want to buy. usually, by this time, the sales are over and i am forced to not buy anything because it is too expensive. but in new york. things are different. menus have 9438230598 choices.

this took me over an hour to read. my friends were not pleased.

and i am always able to find something amazing to eat. however, sometimes, having too many choices can work against me. and i order something like this…

this was actually pretty good. albeit a little dry.

along with those congested menus, ny also has these “fancy” menus. these menus are the worst. they trick you with their “ethnic” language and sophisticated sounding adjectives.

menus like this..

make me order things like this…

toast and cream cheese.

i eat this every friday for free. it’s called free bagel friday at work. if only all the restaurants were like the following halalalalalalal cart.

a picture for every food item sold. i'm a visual learner.

how happy am i when i eat the best halalalal?

this happy.

that feeling is completely reversed when trolls try to steal my food..

can i plz enjoy my halalalalal in peace.

sigh. trolls are the worst life.

just missing the venetian troll.

living with bigbad is not helping my dietary needs either. he is the most lethargic worthless guy. always eating the worst foods and doing nothing.

i think i need to stage an intervention for his bulimia.

how is he so fit??? anyways, back to ny. the whole purpose of the trip was basically to eat. and find places to eat the next meal.

sometimes we got desperate.

but we made sure we got the best burgers.

was a double really necessary? yes, yes it was.

then checked our teeth for leftovers.

before going back out for more.

the best burger.

and occasionally things got aggressive if not enough food was found.

fighter troll comes out.

but on the occasions where we were satisfied? our life was a musical.

it’s hard to keep me satisfied though. as i am constantly hungry. and when i am hungry i am sad. supersadjohn.

luckily, i have a great job. and i’m able to rake in the dough like none other. what job is that?

seriously, the ladies can’t keep their hands off of me.

and with all this talk about food. let’s not forget the best beverage.

shirley temples are the best.

and lastly. all the other things i’ve eaten this past week…

sigh, can i plz eat healthier foods. and let’s not forget my years worth of chickfila. i’ve used up half a years worth of coupons in the past 3 months. this has been some poor dietary decision making. hopefully, the next few months will be better so i can go back to being superstrongjohn. and not superglutenousjohn.

until next time, hope everyone had a wonderful weekend and have a marvelous monday tomorrow. as for me, i need to go throw up tonight’s dinner.